{97}

Marvin found it quite a foreign concept to try and fall asleep, two days later.  He was so on edge with the truth imparted to him by the Angel, that he wondered whether it was possible that the world would ever be the same again. 

Certainly his perspective was forever changed.  He stopped smoking nicotine, after being well addicted for nine years.  He stopped drinking, and realised that he had never in his life been able to approach a woman while sober.  He stopped smoking marijuana, because it seemed to bring him too much on edge, make him see the truth too much, he was having difficulty trying to keep up with what his mind was able to see, it was as though something had been switched on that only gradually ebbed out of him.  He felt that he could only express a fraction of what became available for him to know.  His ability to explain his discoveries to others thus struggled along at a miserable place behind what he could himself see.  Yet even as the light subsided in his mind, he had opened it once completely and thus discovered how to open it without the LSD.  Yet despite all the wonders of what he could see, he realised that knowledge itself is quite useless, if we have no way to share and express it.

{98}

                It aches  beyond mere agony
                                to be able to caress
                truth
                                like a full spring blossom
                and yet be unable to pluck
                gently lift
                                and offer
                its rosy sheen

to where a desperate tongue scrapes dust
                and still claims the dust has quenched its thirst               

                (now I look at the fruit to which my tongue tingles)

                                and I look
                                                     again
                                                                  again!

{99}

These are the things that the forest asks:

                to take time,
                and wait for easy laughter,
                for the ripeness of the moment to exude itself
                a crisp breath sighing softer
                within the walls and smog-clouds
                moss lurks on rubbled buildings
                creeping along and around
                as it does on tall trees
                like down.

Shining green it asks for no more

                smiling cleaner than before
                oh - to grow young and wise again!
                gaiety animates the invisible wind
                watch out for yourself
                don't fall inside your
                own dreams
                watch out for the world
                don't fall inside its poisoned holes

these are the essences of the garden:

                patience:-               a moment in eternity
                laughter:-               eternity in a moment

the garden chants “I am tame and serene”
the forest bellows “I am free and wild”
but green was invented by the trees, my child

{100}

And these are the arguments of despair:

                to feel happy, first one must feel pain
                one can only learn love if one can hate
                if it weren't for evil, good would not exist
                or
                no pain no gain

                                to you poor soul
                                oh shame
                                your shame!
                                oh love and good
                                and laughter is the only worthy master!

{101}

Have
                you been moved
                with the rhythm of dreams?
                borne within the pulse of life and fun;
                aimed toward the shining tower
      

that glides above the sun?

                while the scarlet sky
                flung out its crazy symphony,
                with torrents of crimson flames
                churning through the Earth's artery
                My plea was naked,
                past the crests of all temptation

vulnerable

                within the deep dank well

                                                      of paradise
                                                      to a place
                                                      where a dirt road was purity
                                                      and a dry mild sky

ecstasy,

                and every tree and seed and breath
                and laugh and face
                                                     and grimace

                was a gesture of a simple beauty
                to clutch at desperately

                                                balancing above
                the jaws and jowls
                and scowls below me

{102}

                How does it feel to fear laughter
                How does it feel to dance higher
                How does it feel to receive a friendly smile
                when your shame is shared with all

How does it feel to be right in the centre

                of a million mocking voices in your mind
                -what if they see
                -what if they know
                -what if they laugh
                -oh please laugh shyly with them
                  and do not be afraid
                  to share another's sin
                Why do you see such a wild unfriendly place -
                where anyone will catch you          
                with the taunting eye of disgrace.

                Its a spiritual world we live in
                I tell you -
                - not the jungle of the beast;

                underneath his domineering hatred is his fear
                and beneath his fear is loneliness for love
                and there we all can embrace the same soft, gentle giggle.

                So don't you want to feel like forgiving your tormentor -
                don't you want to feel like slipping
                out of your shell

                Don't you wanna be
                naked and clean
                and just a little bit free of that hell
                were we've all been?